Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
