It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
