lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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