she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I didn't notice because vodka
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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