ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
