dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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