Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
All the doctor said was why
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize