Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
