Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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