Betty ford says i'm here all night
I wish life had little blips of pornography
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
