So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
