question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
