don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
