matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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