wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
