I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
