Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
