So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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