I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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