'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
