Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just gift wrapped bread.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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