This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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