also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
