We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
