Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize