why didn't you poke me back
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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