I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize