i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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