i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
