She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize