Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
