he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize