I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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