Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
