omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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