he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
How's work?
Spinning.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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