I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
