Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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