Having a random hookup so left but love u
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
