dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
