mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
