She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
