quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
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