god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
