It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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