Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
