i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Randomize
