is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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