so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I wish there were birth control emojis
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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