You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
