woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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