don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
