He disabled his match.com account in front of me
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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