it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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