this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
