My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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