is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
