my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Randomize
