The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
