I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
