i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
