No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize