just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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