she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
