It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
