Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize