do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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