is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
