Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
