My nipple is on Facebook.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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