And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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