I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
then he tried to convert me to islam
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
