Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
