You really coming over, don't trick.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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