You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
