no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I think my vagina is haunted
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I party with great urgency now.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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