so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
