:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize