Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize