I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
